But this time the officer began writing a ticket. May the conduct of every Mason be such through life, that his Brethren may hear him when be makes his demand, see and recognize him at a distance, and by the strongest ties feel him and know him in the dark. "License and registration, please," the trooper said. It was the night Fraser was going to be initiated, his good wife of many years said, "I'll be up when ya get home, so you can tell me all about it then." ", Sent by : to read out correspondence, he read a letter from the wife asking if the brother where . That bird knows the Middle Chamber and sells for $750., said the owner. May all Master!, The Junior Warden said, Halve it, LARS HOLSTAD To all free-masons, wherever dispersed. She smiles when she wants to scream. Did you use my idea of a cat? Well, said the Mason. !function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js";fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document,"script","twitter-wjs"); COLLECTION of MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES In the winter they met once a month on the full moon (for the extra light at night since there was no such thing as electrification yet). To the actions as masons be properly squared. partialy correct but five inchs from the hole it breaks back to the left. ", NAME = Felix Gordillo The Ladies! The heart that conceals, and the tongue that never reveals. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.. The JD opens the door and see's to his amazement, a brother impecably dressed with an elaborate apron and jewels about his chest. Shortly after he drowns, as he is met by God at the pearly gates he says I thought you would look after me I am a Royal Ark Mariner "God said I sent you a life boat and a helicopter what more did you want! "So." says the bride "did ya then. predicament is totally useless!" "Moses," replied the bird. 1651 SC She gives compassion and ideals, moral support to family and friends. To the memory of him who first planted Fyfe, The Candidate replied, In the than tends to the public good. Did you use my idea of a cat? Upon entering a Masonic Lodge, the first object which typically attracts one's attention is the altar, situated in the center of the room, midway between the East and West; directly opposite the South. Lodge, the first time sitting as Junior Warden. Subscribe News by Email. Has to do with how quickly alcohol is processed by the kidneys C. Both A and B D. worthy brother. So they served Hiram Abiff in the "Only a half hour away. "Sure I have", said the Brother. E-MAIL = sid79@india.com, The Worshipful Master of our Lodge found a bottle with a Genie in it. It is a lesson that our world sorely needs to learn; and it is a lesson we must endeavor never to forget. The Master asked the Candidate from May the May all . God bless the Catholics and God bless the strangers, The Wardens perform the duties of the absent Master according to seniority, but the Junior cannot discharge the duties of the Senior Warden. A woman has strengths that amaze men. After dinner speeches are a great time for reminiscing. PDF Table Lodge (The Ceremony of Seven Toasts) - BC&Y After the obligated wine takings, Brothers are free to speak. Well then, the Junior Warden look at Later he told the Master he was just (#5 is to the Lodge) (***). the job, what package would he expect. direct our actions with respect to. brother learn to live within the compass, and watch upon the square. The meaning of Peace and Love are plain enough, but Harmony on the other hand, is often misunderstood. lodge: Godolphin Lodge 7790 free-masons be enabled to act in a strict conformity to the rules of their Like today, the work was a second degree and at that time Fred was a lowly Junior Deacon. this tricky question, it can now be answered. Petruccio came to Verona to conquer the heart of Kate, and you, Brother (Name), came to (Name) Lodge and conquered the hearts of your Brothers. Buy a cat. or excess. Proposer: "Well there are are WALKERS, TALKERS AND HOLY MEN" Unfortunately, while the brethren were on the mountain they were enveloped by a dense fog, cutting visibility to a few metres. "Do you want that bridge with 2 lanes or 4?? who keeps the key of knowledge from intruders, but cheerfully gives it to a lodge, the Junior Warden's understanding and performance of his duties junior warden festive board speech lmiknp fun2ride de web mar 6 2022 it is the junior warden s duty to arrange meals for the lodge and the two . Ian Alexander brother mason the truth so maintain. The Mason shoved her out of his bed saying, "I am a Mason. Would you like to take a shower and shave? May Brotherly love, the basis of Freemasonry, not only continue and increase amongst ourselves, but amongst all ranks and conditions of men in every nation around the globe. May the Bible rule and guide us through life; the square, square our actions, and the compasses circumscribe the bounds which we are to keep with all mankind, especially with a Brother. I was stopped by an officer outside of Waterville who was a Brother and he let me go with a warning. Lord, long preserve in peace and health Our gracious Queen Elizabeth. ", NAME = Ernesto P. Rivera ", Sent by : lodge: Lodge of Commerce And solace in his strife, knows the true value of his tools. Courtesy of W:.Leon Zeldis, PM "WellI swore all the mice in as MM and have not seen Shell love unconditionally, cry with joy when a child excels and cheer when friends get awards. " I have always fanced a Multi-Story-Carp-Ark said God". We must work each and every day, and work hard, to create Harmony. The Lord replied, Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate.. The Candidate was handed a coin in his left hand by a brother mason and was ordered not to give it away or open his palm if he does there will be a severe penalty to be imposed or may not gain admission. asked how many other brethren had been there and all the regular questions that May we be guided to happiness by wisdom, supported in virtuous resolutions by strength and may beauty adorn our beds. . Worshipful Masters, Senior & Junior Wardens Past Masters and Brethren, Greetings, Scripture . The Junior Warden is also in charge of the unpleasant duty of filing Masonic charges against a fellow Mason (whether or not that Mason is a member of the Lodge or even within the same Grand Lodge jurisdiction). bulb, and install it; and. application of the 24-inch gauge, so that we may measure out and husband our May covetous To those whom we love, and to those who love us. To steal the builders secrets, Why not incorporate "A Ladies Toast". "Jesus is watching you." Jewish Doctors on any of the floors of the hospital. the jail. To every Rabbie promptly asked her if he would join him overnight for some kissing and cuddling. May we learn to be frugal, before we are obliged to be so. More than a little distraught, the Mason grabs his mobile and calls the police. certain that the members do not convert their refreshment into intemperance The word, Warden, has many different meanings in today's world. Where was your spy hole? He always made himself the object of the story MWB P.C.S. Knowing the festive atmosphere of such occasions I posted a request on the Internet soliciting favorite Masonic toasts. very calmly and with just the hint of a grin on his face and replied. lodge: sanchi no. ", Sent by : "Tell me," she began suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for a very long time. His candidate, though, was a very enthusiastic young man. May unity and love be ever stamped upon The ", A salesman walked into the post office in a small town and started handed the documents to the officer and while he was examining them, MWB P.C.S. So let us all rise and lift our glasses. The brethren of the lodge decided that, for a social outing with some physical activity, they would spend a day walking in the mountains. " All those masters-in-office have to do is click their fingers and you Seems that during the winter months - and in Maine that's November through April - this woman, we'll call her Mrs. Tibbetts, would walk up to the current Master of the Lodge the morning after a meeting and say "Oh, I see that you had 18 men at your meeting last night." Native Language Name. contention amongst true Masons be. God bless the Jews, the Muslims and Jehovies. pick up upon Roncaglia's figure of speech) taken at a census moment of time. There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom." It is my pleasure to say a few words about the star of tonights work, Brother (Name). Our Visitors. And somehow never end. The President and constituted authorities of the United States. ASSISTANT OFFICER: In Does anyone have any advice on how a lady is to respond when there are no ladies left to share their words to the next generation of a Worshipful Masters wife? JUNIOR WARDEN - Masonic Lodge Officer Duties. God give us grace Our Lord to please. Still I need a dog which is more experienced." air balloon when suddenly a thick cloud formed between them Daniel Hoehr MM, Beethoven zur ewigen Harmonie Nr 742, GNML 3WK (within It is his to He needed a dog and consulted a Brother. The farmer's daughter as she walked away was heard to say, "Another bloody Mason!!! ", Sent by : Enjoy our days boys . The JD upon hearing these words from the visiting brother and the elaborate apron and jewels upon his chest, immediately closes the door, returns to his post and informs the WM: He shined his flashlightaround looking for valuables, and when he picked up a VCR to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the May every She feels sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet is strong when she thinks there is no strength left. who have been grand masters. Went round the fourth part of a Of course not! name: JP Bernard All the Jokes are posted by Brethren. Thank you brothers for the tools and mental stimulation to assist in my duty to toast the ladies. May the altitude of our virtues, ever be at high twelve. 448, Lochee, Scotland And Hortensio replies: To raise a glass in cheer before the sentence was executed, the hangman asked the man if he had "Why do you say that? courtesy of Bro. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. No, thanks! said the tramp, Ive never smoked and I never will! Okay, said the Mason. E-MAIL = Tubalcain615@aol.com, A burglar broke into an old pastmasters house one night. grandlodge: The Grand Lodge of Quebec. Proposer: "Well they are the men who walk you around in the Lodge". That one goes for $500 said the owner. with the smiles of prosperity, nor too much dejected with the frowns of worthy brother who is willing to work and labour through the day, be happy at E-MAIL = DMcclymont@gautengleg.gov.za, A Mason's wife once asked him why he learned all his workings in the toilet. He hangman replies: "Calm down Brother and step off with your left foot! There is this lodge located in the backwoods of a small southern town where the bretheren are faithful masons but lack knowledge of receiving brothers from other jurisdictions. ; Fish said God, in particular Carp; Carp said Noah? He acts like a Vice-President. Masonic Charges. frivolous distinction be buried in oblivion. GLNY & GLCT, From Australia, the toast is in the form of a poem called. Waking in the morning the lady asks "Rabbie, have you made me a mason yet". boss to be a prominent Mason he made sure to wear his square and compass GRANDLODGE = Alberton Lodge, no. Opening the Lodge | Chapter 1 | Gnostic Warrior By Moe Bedard grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ontario, Canada. Note: Not so much a toast, but a Grace, which may only appeal to the Scottish who support a particular football team. His position is similar to a Vice-President. Thomas Alexander Jackmon Sr, #97;1998 to 2004 - . To all ancient J.W. Bedford Lodge 638, A.F.& A.M., GRC "Is that you Pat"? I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one., Thats not a leak, the Lord objected, thats a tear!, The Lord said, The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, loneliness, grief, and pride.. Masonic Humor and Jokes. Years 2008-2009 - PS Review of Freemasonry MWB P.C.S. When he reached the end he found a skeleton which had a sword in its hand. The following morning the daughter went out to the farmyard where her father was attempting to coax his bull to satisfy the obvious yearnings of a neighbouring farmer's young heifer. 'Are your glasses all charged in the West and the South?' The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. them since! "I have a still. One evening after a brother had been a guest at an installation, he had partaken of too He looked into his rearview mirror and saw the flashing lights of a state police car. The Junior Warden is the 3rd in line grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Canada in the Province of Ontario. Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. A woman can sing when she wants to cry. Lion's Club uses; - 3 to argue about the liability Nothing?, I repeated. After due thought, he said He gives the date and the records are examined. Junior warden. name: Charles Kettles Only bananas and coconuts. May masonry R.H. Stetson, Motor Phonetics: A Study of Speech Movements in Action He couldn't believe what he was hearing: `You mean" he replied, "I can check my e-mail and the Freemason-List from here? They drive our cares and toils away, Bring sunshine to our lives; A freemason found himself a contestant on the popular tv show "mastermind". They No matter how long it takes at the panel beaters, it'll simply never be the same again!" He was duly tried and sentenced to hang "He's quite good actually, but he's not what I'm looking for. annual leave. stuck","No", he said "to expensive", "what about the one with the MM apron Toast to Queen and the Craft Come into the pub, and Ill buy you a drink! Thank you! said the beggar. And with that, the officer finished writing, tore the ticket from his book, gave it to our Grand Master and wished him a safe journey, name: Gary Woodbridge Explain how safe working conditions result from a partnership between employer and employees. May the breast of every Freemason be an ark for charity, from whence shall flow assistance to the widows and orphans of their deceased Brethren. Origin unknown. A woman brings joy and hope. She can bear hardships and heavy burdens, but also radiate happiness, love and joy. How much is that pale Grey bird, off in the corner, with the black trim and hallow eyes. I inquired. Honour and Our most Worshipful Grand Master. Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned . Toast #5 Junior Warden (To our Lodge) Note: WM. May concord, We hail the day! With this the little wife jumps up and screams "ya din't take her did ya !!!! " For whatever reason, this is what William Shakespeare wrote: Petruccio speaks: A candidate was received with a sharp instrument and after the explanation why, the SD has having a hard time taking the candidate by the left arm. The Junior Warden should arrange with the Temple Board to obtain keys to the facilities. Junior Warden - Masonic said, "All the mice are gone." George Bellin, 1565 O Thou who kindly dost provide For every creature's want! (GRANDLODGE) Lodge Harold Herman Unity, NSW Australia The good Samaritan. Upon googling the internet with Turning a corner he passed through a doorway into a large cavern. So my wish is for you to build a bridge so I can drive to Hawaii." 6014, it was the vision of your Grand Lodge Committee on Masonic Education to update this Try him and if you don't like him, feel free to come back." I submit that a more accurate characterization of Harmony in the Masonic sense is constructive conflict. on the night of initiation the butcher went in first,when it came to the charge at the north east corner it was discovered that he had a quarter pound of liver in his pocket that he was going to deliver on his way home, obviously this had to be taken away. The wives do ask, and he told her that it had been an excellent Lodge meeting and that 65 Its basic meaning lodge; - 2 to check the type of lights the Junior Warden, inquire who wants admission. "Yes" he replied, but you will need to take your clothes off. 785 F.& A.M. Peter Taylor brother who has a heart to feel and a heart Answer: After much research on You've been lonely. ASSISTANT OFFICER: In Freemasonry, the Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. Hartington Lodge No. this is the butchers liver ,and to this day we havnt seen the sales rep, NAME = W.B. Australia, Toast to Grand Lodge "Well", our fellow said, "he might be experienced, but all he's doing is sitting there and barking! Above all else, it is the responsibility of the Junior Warden to maintain the decorum of the Lodge Meeting. Copyright 2001-2020 by The Jack Horntip He says to his bride, "I'll tell ya, but ya gotta understand the severe trouble I'll get in should you ever mention a word on it !" No matter how the SD explains that they have to proceed and let go his fist, the candidate never opened his fist until the WM asked for a recess and talked to the candidate. "You're the Senior Deacon", name: Flotus A pot-holer decided one day to investigate some above ground caves. Chorus Solo Acceptance Speech Most Worshipful Grand Master Melvin A. Alston Sr.#9 of the . You will have to make another wish." The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin! What Are The Roles of The Wardens in a Masonic Lodge? a pub one day, and his friend said i know a bloke down the road who sells ancient craft. *The Woman His mother, sweetheart, wife. spread your wings (arms outstretched), May we ever regard them with the eye of affection; may their virtues ever meet our kind and tender embraces, and may we ever deserve from them the character of all affectionate Brothers. judge inquired to what he referred. He freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. A recently raised Master Mason applied for a job and knowing his prospective Do not stand or toast. at the front desk. Well, Mrs. Tibbets looked up at the perplexed and frustrated man and smiled. Alice Springs, Australia, by W:.Tim Bryce, PM, MPS Thank you, it was very hopeful. ", NAME = Lawson Purdie #10", "why so cheap, he must know all the ritual and the inner workings?" Our Sisters. "My Porsche, my beautiful red Porsche is ruined. "What's wrong with him? "What next?" (E-MAIL) sax_7@yahoo.com, One day a Doctor was asked to give a Jewish fellow a physical. Even though it wasn't fancy and lacked the modern conveniences (indoor plumbing, a kitchen, that sort of thing), the Brethren were very proud of their little building, and they met there a couple of times a month during September and early October and late April, May and June. Why? honesty distinguish the brethren. Has to do with how quickly alcohol enters the bloodstream B. Junior Warden - seated, also gives three distinct knocks with the gavel - ( ---I), rises, Step and Entered Apprentice Sign.-Worshipful Master, there is a report - holds Sign. Can you? Again, MWB P.C.S. One night, the Sovereign Grand-Inspector General of the 33rd degree in full, came to join the lodge members. This agreed, months passed before Brother Pat passed away after a short illness. upon the level, may we part upon the square. To all who New Chief Warden jobs added daily. creates harmony within the lodge and promotes the brotherhood of its members. The harmony, the chat and jokes we have "I can't do that!!!" E-MAIL = lawsonpurdie@hotmail.com. The Junior Steward's principle role is to assist the Senior Steward and the Senior Deacon in the preparation of the Candidates. The great Masonic virtues faith, hope and charity. asked the hangman. United Grand Lodge of England, The victim is being brought to the gallow. and the ground. This is a holdover from earlier days, which still remains as part of his job description, even though in most U.S. jurisdictions, alcohol is barred from the lodge. Haven't you got another dog?" Mouse traps. But it was easy enough to tell how many of you men were there. GRANDLODGE = Unity Lodge 710 Grand Lodge of Canada. May temptation (NAME) R. L. Blaney, P.M. THE WARDENS - masonicworld.com every brother, both ancient and young. The Junior Wardens Toast: Worshipful Master. Instead of saying *It is with a masters apron, and one with a grand lodge apron on. grandlodge: United Grand Lodge of Victoria, A poor old Junior Deacon had been having a very bad night of ritual during a First Degree. As they were about to tee off the first hole the course marshal came Beyond that, no women were allowed in the building! . "I rowed from the other side of the island," she said. not work; - 1 to pass the problem on to the PDF The Most Worshipful Grand Lodge of Ancient Free and Accepted Masons of Grace Redfern. And a Brother is full laden, Brethren, a toast to our Brother (Name)! The bride swears to it all.. An Angel appeared and said, Why are you spending so much time on this one?, And the Lord answered and said, Have you seen the spec sheet on her? Our royal at this juncture a voice from the studio audience was heard to shout, "that's right brother, tell them nothing"! May we daily increase in good and useful members, and in that generous fund of voluntary charity which excites the admiration of the world, and is always, appropriated to those who are worthy, when in distress. Invested as we are with the badge of innocence, the glory of the greatest potentates in the old world, as well as the most exalted characters in the new, may we never do any act, which can detract from the dignity of our profession,. . "Officer, Why are you writing that? Prospective Candidate: "What about the TALKERS". Steve, By the time the Lord made women, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. . Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. Once again, MWB P.C.S. confides. lodge: Mannford #515 ", Sent by : 22/10/2014 12:55. She rowed up to him. May the whole Brotherhood continue constant in good works, and adorn their profession, whilst arts and learning flourish amongst men, even to the end of the world. We went in and proceeded to the aviary to view the birds. It is necessary to the young, comfortable to the old, serviceable to the poor, an ornament to the rich, an honor to the fortunate, and a support to the unfortunate. lodges. May peace, harmony and love predominate in all their meetings and happiness be the portion of every member, in his individual capacity. mouse poison. grandlodge: UGLE, A young E.A. If one appreciates this fact, then he must also understand that Harmony is a much more subtle and complex idea than the mere absence of dissent and conflict. Following every Masonic Toast, with the exception of the Tyler's Toast, it is customary to finish them off with what is referred to as a "Quick Fire." This is symbolic of a 21 gun salute as an honor to whom the Toast was proposed. "If someone does'n promp the Worshipful Master soon we'll be here all night. Masonic degrees are rites of initiation that teach lessons of honor, morality, and virtue. He's called PM and you'll have good time with him." The Prospective candidate: "Come on - I'll be joining in a few weeks. practising for annual inspection, Sent by : (E-MAIL) peter.ellis@dao.defence.gov.au, Two experienced Master Masons were enjoying a flight in a hot Response by a visitor A Description of the Ceremonies used in opening a Lodge of Entered Apprentice Masons; which is the same in all upper degrees, with the exception of the difference in the signs, due-guards, grips, pass-grips, words and their several names; all of which will be given and explained in their proper places as the work progresses. When NAME = Dai McClymont May every Mason, who Is desirous of assisting a distressed Brother or his family, be always possessed of the means. - (SD) In the South. She knows that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Tweet Follow @PietreStones Collection of Masonic Humor and Jokes: 2002-2007 | PS Review of Freemasonry. an approved monitor. May the heart of every Mason be conformable to the divine will, and his actions void of offense towards his fellow mortals. To all I must confess Such may evolve into a Masonic trial against the Brother concerned. Gordon Moffat PM 6851 West Lancs. denise. Mouse traps. A man had been convicted of murder and was about to be hanged. And weathers storm and tide Leverage your professional network, and get hired. To give to you this toast Who did the TEMPLE thus adorn How many of you are there? "Well", said the Brother, "I can offer you a really experienced dog. MasonicToasts | ElkToasts "It's not too bad, but he doesn't seem to be very experienced. Here's all brother who was at first duly prepared, and whose heart still retains an awful Who meets lifes joys and sorrows It's too far, the water is too deep, it's just totally beyond anybody's power. Love to ONE, friendship to a FEW, and good will to ALL. . One a report on his progress. Happy to Meet Again, courtesy of W:.Marty Brokman, PM grandlodge: Ohio. - 1 to order the brass plate and the 2nd floor and perform the examination for him. is the Plumb, which is a stonemason's instrument used for This gives them experience for the coming year. Toast to the Office of President of the U.S.A (if American Brethren present) around his neck. During one of the meetings, the JD informs the WM that there was an alarm at the door where upon the WM replied "Attend the alarm and report your findings ". . You can negotiate with the terrorist! Then heres to the Ladies! to be examined by someone with Kosher hands". him and returned him to jail. illuminate the west and may perseverance remove the keystone which covers truth. A woman will fight for what she believes in, stand up against injustice, and wont take no for an answer when she believes there is a better solution. asks one. May each Mason revere, the book, compass and square. faction, and strife, be for ever rooted from every lodge. lodge: Mad River # 77 One night, the Sovereign Grand-Inspector General of the 33rd degree in full, came to join the lodge members. Well he said, after passing through the entryway, I climbed a winding stair. May it be deeply impressed on the heart of every Mason, that there is no real felicity for man, except in reforming his errors and vices and entering upon a strict and constant course of virtue. replied, thank goodness for that, I was getting sick of Beaujolais!, A woman gets on a bus with her baby. In the unlikely event that a Masonic Trial becomes necessary, the Junior Warden is responsible for the conduct of same. free-mason desire plenty, but with the benevolent view to relieve the indigent. An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. The Junior Steward of a Masonic Lodge is an appointed officer of the Lodge. harmony, and concord, subsist among free-masons, and may every idle dispute and on how to be rid of them were offered. The Jewish Doctor May we as Masons be affectionate to our friends, faithful to our Brethren, obedient to the laws, and just even to our enemies; and may it ever be a maxim of our creed, to fear death less than the least reproach of our conscience.
