They include: courage, commitment, imagination and compassion, and oh yes, patience -- lots of it -- because it doesn't happen overnight. (My answer might surprise you. So, lets get started! you see the work of your close friend and you tell him "I am proud of you". I got into a conflice with her sons girlfriend because this young woman was working in a store behind the til and had made a gross error in punching out my cash register amounts on my bill and I had to go and confront her to get a refund as the store owed me about $50 due to her errors. So, if youve achieved something in your educational or professional field, and someone informs you theyre proud of you, it means you did a great job there. Plus, they also express how proud they are, when you do something special for them. But I gratuitously accepted his compliment. Children whose parents constantly say "I'm proud of you" may grow to be adults who rely on other people's opinion of them for validation. 1. I know that it is in the nature of the internet that you can confirm, and get consensus about most any belief you have, but, if that is what has happened here, Im OK with it. To reply to that right, here are the better and funny responses to I am proud of you from your bestie. I wasnt happy with this performance. Let them know how much better you feel now that you're smokefree. Want to Change the Way you React to Your Children? You will even fall in love with me again seeing the next surprise! 4. Is your partner proud because they can now be associated with a high achiever? Who put in the practice in order to win that tennis match? And as it was your friends achievement, oughtnt she be the one who feels proud? If someone calls you out for saying something offensive, remember that your intent can be different than your impact. 12. SFD a bit late in the day to be commenting but I think your assessment of the phrase is spot on. PJ, I think your ex still cares for you so your accomplishments evoke pride in her. My sons grew up together and are spaced two years apart. 2. 3. Fascinating post in two regards. Exactly the information I was looking for thank you! The Proud Boys . I admire your ability to ___________. To me, to be proud of someone, you do not have to be above them in any way although that is usually the case ie older or more experienced (or snobbish if that is how you are) To me, you do have to have some connection with the person you are proud of. Ben Casnocha It is a darn good thing that you wrote your opinion; that I found it tonight, and that comments continue to be accepted. Most times, people use "I am busy" as a tool for avoidance. But some of us never heard the expression in our lives till we were adults. For doing what Im supposed to do? Here are some tips on how to respond to Im proud of you: Following these tips will help to ensure that you are responding to Im proud of you in a meaningful way. Maybe instead of telling me hes proud of me, like its such a surprise, maybe he should have just offered to do the dishes. I know you and I haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately. Ive told you that, youre going to feel proud of me. Which brings me to my next point. If this is the case, then of whom is the parent really proud? . 25. There are alternatives to praise and saying "Im proud of you", and they include: I consciously have to stop myself from saying "Im proud of you". This is why we say, I am very happy for you! They are the one to feel proudit was THEIR accomplishment. Youre the most amazing parents and thank you for believing in me. A 2017 analysis of 2012 national data from the US, showed that parent behaviour could have a protective role in a their child's mental health. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? It's nothing bad or unusual. Thank you for always being such a supportive partner. 14. Ah. Tell me something else, Ive heard this at home. The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all others, charity. (I'd prefer "I'm really impressed with report - I can see how much effort you put in, and it's going to be helpful for the organisation". For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. It can be difficult to respond to Im proud of you if youre struggling with self-doubt. I'll help with whatever you need to make it . Talents Compliments. #8: They say you need to change. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies. This is what makes the difference in whether the receiver feels great or resentful. This is a noble endeavor. ), belonging to my close friend, on her business page. Linda Adams, in her book Be Your Best, quotes Charleszetta Waddles (African American activist): You cant give people pride, but you can provide the kind of understanding that makes people look to their inner strengths and find their own sense of pride. To try to sum this up, I mrried and ended up in a small, isolated village filled with people who either did not graduate high school or barely achieved that level of schooling. Required fields are marked *. Image used under license from Shutterstock, research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you", protective role in a their child's mental health, Should Children And Parents Be Friends? It reaffirms the choice you made is good and right, nothing more. You look so much better!". But, its important to remember that responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and will help you to overcome your self-doubt. Suddenly I found myself questioning my rather lame Im thrilled for you. (Of course, there are always people who try to suck up to youbut hopefully you can see through it!) The phrase that has always hit me hardest, however, has been "I'm proud of you." Someone saying that they're proud of you implies that, not only are they impressed by what you do and who you are, they also want others to know it. "I wish I had met you. Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window). Connect, Converse and Communicate Better. Refresher workshop for P.E.T. No, I am more proud of you, too. Set realistic goals. I dont think there is a neutral position. 3. Thats the response I was expecting from you. I know Im a couple of years behind, but was thinking about it this morning. 2. Thats my life goal. He remembers things that you tell him. From that day on, I felt like I couldnt really trust him, and now I know why. My former partner just recently told me that he was proud of me after major accomplishment. When someone says Im proud of you, they are investing in you and putting themselves out there. For even more than mentors, but for people who deserve your care and attention in life. Its just a colloquialism for way to go or awesome sauce or good for you! No one means to be condescending or imply they got you there in some way. Why is this such a contentious phrase? I, too, rightly believe that I had little to do with my offspring making his way in life in a manner that is worthy, but as parent, conveying I am proud of you, has distinctive and important meaning. So you better know in which tone theyre saying so. But I believe that spouses say it, and siblings. The reader alone is responsible for any action they take as a result of reading this website. The administrator takes no responsibility for any action or outcome a reader may make as a result of reading a post. First, is there anything more emotionally potent than someone you really care about and admire telling you, Im proud of you?, It feels like I can name many movies where this serves as the emotional climax. The parent might have paid a lot of money, or given up time, to coach and practice tennis with their winning child. Oh, youre one of my trusted supporters! Dont just thank them, you can reply with some cute responses to let them know that youre proud the same as they are. 17. But, why does the response "me too" sound natural in response to "I am glad to meet you". Yes, I'm sure you've come across "me too" in such situations, but it's very often ambiguous, or sounds arrogant. posted by aimedwander at 4:27 PM on May 17, 2015 . Rather, relationship skills where we communicate respectfully by listening, by positive I-Messages, by problem solving with our child, will help ensure our children feel connected and valued, and provide our children with a sense of emotional safety. She and I are both married. Encouraging children and others to be proud of themselves is healthier. Sajeev Rajan It is a feeling of relief and it was all worth while you bringing them up properly. Move away from the source of your negative thoughts. To me, if someone I respect said they were proud of me, would mean much more and have a much better and more positive effect on me than if they said Im really happy for you because the feeling of someone being proud for me includes me, my efforts and achievements, and unites me with that person who said it at the moment of saying it. I still think she was doing this at the time. Yea, Thank you is not the only response. If a parent can say, Im proud of you, then can the parent also say the opposite , Children may become dependent on their parents (and others, such as teachers or grandparents) evaluation of their achievements. Oh.. very good. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. Well cover some of the better responses you can give, like thanking them, making them feel special, or making them laugh. I use the other terms like Im so happy for you. The insiders felt they were all superior to newcomers, no matter what the newcomers backgrounds were. 14. Look him in the eyes and smile. 9. 8. Thank you, mom and dad, youre the reason for this. Lets look at some examples (followed by some suggested alternatives) adult first, then child, to help illustrate this point: Manager: "Im proud of the report youve written". Because we ran into a bunch of other classmates that were also there, we didnt spend time exclusively with each other but we did sit together at the game. Hearing those words can make us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. I think its about the underlying meaning of these words to a child. 16. 9. Don't disguise it as concern, either. She is an accredited and highly experienced P.E.T. Isnt she elevating herself above me to oversea my behaviors to make sure I was a good little girl? . As your friend I want you to know that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. Don't remind them how far they've come. She was very rude and grouchy with me and reluctantly corrected her errors after I asked the manager to get involved. but with my Mothers words of wisdom always echoing. Marilyn, My life changed the day I heard Mr. Rogers tell me he liked me just the way I was. You haven't said who is speaking to whom. Ive been lurching between How can you be proud of someone elses children? but then challenging that with But then as we do both have a close relationship with her we probably have had some influence on how shes turning out . You could feel annoyed and put out. Instead of acting out of rage over . Congratulations to our dearest son. You might say: "I'm so proud of you for trying to quit smoking. 9. Believe me when I tell you that it is not meant so kindly elsewhere. 14. "How long have you been sober?". By Ben Collins and Brandy Zadrozny. First, there's physical attraction. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. You can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. He may not have expected you to be qualified for the job. They often tell each other they are proud of one anothers achievements and they all know its genuine. Again, these phrases are my evaluation of my childs effort. What are we trying to say or do, when we innocently, and with the best of intentions, praise our children with "Im proud of you"? Think of things people have often praised. I say it often to former students. (I'd prefer "Wow, that must have taken some thought and courage! This can help to create stronger relationships and can help to create a positive and constructive environment. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. He may not have been able to think of something better or funny so he settled for that. If a homeless guy on the street (lower status) or Bill Gates (don't know him personally) tell me they're proud of me it won't have a huge positive effect. For Stein, the worst compliment is hearing: "You've lost soooo much weight! I live about 200 miles from the old college & she lives in the same town as the college is located. "I'm proud of you" is often associated with mentor-mentee relationships, something that a teacher or parent might say. And that's how I arrived at the "I'm Proud of You" litmus test. Whoever those people are, they are probably your mentors. The only people there who went to university were the pharmacist, the physician/surgeon, lab technologist, x-ray technician and the like, as well as the school teachers. While "sb is proud of him" can express positive meaning. When someone knows that you are not only proud, but you are inspired and amazed, it will be an even better compliment. Wondering where that may be coming from. Why are you taking the credit for my effort? (I'd prefer "Congratulations! And now, that you have the other responses to I am proud of you, you can share the same based on whos saying this and after which event. About 5 years ago, an ex college girlfriend and I began emailing each other occasionally (not often just once every 2-3 months or so). They just say it. The same trope appears in many childrens movies (Babe, Mulan)is there anything more important to a child than their parents love and approval? Its my feeling that I should only express pride in something Ive accomplished. Thank you. And Ill encourage them to be proud. Its a way of saying I see the hard work youve put in and I appreciate it. So happy for us! If youve finally graduated or youre the first one who got an A + in your entire family, your parents express how proud and happy you make them. Proud Boys chairman Enrique Tarrio poses with a Proud Boys member at a rally in Delta Park in Portland, Oregon, on September 26, 2020. "Always work hard, be honest, and be proud of who you are.". Achieving your goals will help you stay motivated, inspire you to set and achieve more, and increase confidence. Friend: "At least you have a job or daughter.". We had a really nice time. And they both say that you're over and done with me. It means that in their eyes you have come a long way from a place you began. Larissa's writing has been published in Huffington Post Australia, Early Childhood Australia's blog 'The Spoke'; Her Canberra, Gordon Training International blog, and Generation Next blog. Lovers often feel proud when they see their beloved in action. We can all have slightly different interpretations of words which if not careful can start a war! Stay in the know when we release new content! No. 8. I have deep concerns if children crave to hear "I'm proud of you" because they want to know that their parents approve of them - of their behaviour, of their decisions in life. Did I do anything extraordinary? Benjamin Franklin Positive, Forgiveness, Respect 985 Copy quote Yes, I agree that it can also be very strong coming from siblings and spouses/lovers. That proud phrase didnt bother me at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I began to wonder, what does she mean when she says shes proud of me? Probably no big deal but would be interested in input from others especially other females. I am so lucky to have you in my life and your . It may be a taunt from them to do something unusual. How might you feel as the worker? When your partner is mad at you, your flirty responses to I hate you will certainly make them laugh. But, the real credit goes to you and you only! The Mindset of the Ambitious Educational Elite, Thinking Clearly about a Persons Substance Amidst Stylistic Differences, On Intentionally Vague, Mystique-Infused Explanations of Talent, Book Notes: Lost & Found by Kathryn Shulz, Mindfulness of Consciousness Meditation Retreat. My native language is not English, but I have fallen into the unfortunate (for somethings) of social netwoks, like facebook. Try either "I'm happy for you!" or, what I find more accurate, "You bring me joy." "You bring me joy," communicates the sentiment nicely. Glad that I keep our family tradition alive. Youre like my sister from another mother. So - does this research negate my concerns regarding the phrase "I'm proud of you"? that he harrassed them or . 8. There may be times when he gets some details wrong, but no one is taking score about who gets the fine points right most of the time. A special note on research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you" prevents future mental illness and suicidal ideation in their children. What a surprise! My boyfriends ex, posted a im so proud of you on a photo he posted: something he achieved. facilitator, with over 1000 parents completing the course with her. Like I wasnt doing enough before? And do you really mean that you are damned impressed with your friend for her achievement? "I'm so proud of you" In this sentence, "proud" being translated to is absolutely right, and is also OK.
